When love turns to hate, children are often caught in the middle. Sometimes, a parent’s hatred of their ex turns into parental alienation, which is when a parent intentionally damages the child’s relationship with the other parent and turns the child against that other parent.
Parental Alienation – Tactics
Parental alienation can be devastating to kids and parents. It often occurs when an alienating parent craves revenge against their ex and uses the child to exact punishment1. Parents who alienate may use tactics like the following:
- Limiting the child’s contact with the targeted parent.
- Interfering with the child’s time with the targeted parent.
- Saying negative things about the targeted parent within earshot of the child.
- Making the child feel unloved by the targeted parent.
- Blaming the targeted parent for the collapse of the marriage.
- Making false accusations of abuse or neglect.
- Withholding information about the child from the targeted parent.
- Manipulating the child to feel responsible for the parent’s feelings.
Signs of Potential Alienation
Parental alienation can be mild, moderate, or severe. At its most severe, parental alienation outright brainwashes the child. One sign of severe parental alienation is when a child expresses unjustified hatred toward the targeted parent. Below are some additional signs:
- The child criticizes the targeted parent or rejects time with him or her.
- The child has unwavering support for the alienating parent.
- The child parrots the language of the alienating parent.
- The child is enmeshed with the alienating parent.
- Many of the child’s beliefs about the targeted parent are factually incorrect.
Parental alienation is an issue in many custody cases. The next article in this series will address how to handle parental alienation.
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